happy happy boom boom

Happy 4th of July from the 5th of July.

Look, I'm no Tory.

I fully support General Washington and his Continental Army and do believe that the British have no right to tax us so crappily.

We deserve the right to govern ourselves and I celebrate our impending freedom from British rule.

One thing though.

Why do some people feel the need to blow shit up in order to celebrate American Independence?

What the hell?

Now I don't mind official fireworks displays given by local municipalities. Those can be very beautiful and moving.

But do we need every wife-beater wearing white trash idiot with a trunk full of roman candles smuggled across the Indiana border blasting the shit out of the street until four in the fucking morning?

I say thee nay!

When the British inevitably sail back across the pond, can they take some of the less desirable with them?

I even compiled a list:

The afore-mentioned roman candle smugglers.
Paris Hilton and anybody who worships Paris Hilton.
Every person in America who has made American Idol such a big hit.
Barry Bonds before he breaks Hank's record.
Britney Spears and her half-brained ex-husband. (who's probably behind the double-wide as we speak taping an M-80 to a stray cat's tail)
The idiot who wrote the Secret.
The idiots who bought the Secret.
George Bush and Dick Cheney.
Osama Bin Laden (because you just know he's been holed up in someplace like Columbus, Ohio this whole time, watching Letterman, munching on Cool Ranch Doritos and laughing his ass off).
Anne Coulter.

That's just a short list. More to come later.

not much

Not much to say today.

No rants, really.

I just hope that the Bulls get Kobe Bryant. I'm getting a little nervous that LA and Minnesota are going to do a straight-up trade.

I had hoped for a 3-way between them and Chicago.

Oh well.

My wife and kids bought me some DVD's for my birthday. Among them, The Departed and How I Met Your Mother Season 1.

I haven't seen the Departed yet. I'm so behind in my movie-watching. Caught up on most kid-flicks and will probably see Harry Potter when it comes out, but it's so rare that that me and the missus get to the theatre to see adult fare.

And since there isn't a Blockbuster near us, well, the amount of movies I need t catch up on keeps growing.

How I Met Your Mother, by the way, is not a ratings blockbuster, but it is a gem. I highly recommend it. It's right up there with the best of the best for the current shows.

The Office, My Name Is Earl, Scrubs, How I Met Your Mother, really 4 of the best on TV right now.

I loved Studio 60 and can't see how it failed. Too smart for most people I figure. Yeah, let's have more of the Real Wedding Crashers! Woooo!

All right, that's it for now.

So far I haven't seen signs that anybody's listening. But if you're out there, feel free to drop me a line.

Paris Hilton and her fantabulous i phone

God, there are so many stupid people in this world.

By my estimations, about 80% of the world is made up of idiots or assholes.

Now I'm not really gonna name who's who and what category they fall into. You know who and what you are.

But I will direct your attention to the people lining up outside the jail where Paris Hilton was being held, screaming and cheering for her after her 3 weeks of hard time.

Boy, I hope prison hasn't changed her. A hard and bitter Paris this world does not need.

Of particular stupidity is the doofus with the Liberate Paris sign. Ohhh, good one, ass-clown.

Another group of yoo-hoos is the bunch camped outside the Apple store for the new i phone.

Are you kidding me? I mean, come on. It's a fucking appliance.

Okay, I can see camping out for concert tickets or for playoff or World Series/Super Bowl tickets. Those are limited-engagement events.

But for a phone? Especially one that you will be able to buy a few days, a few weeks, a few months after it's released? That's just stupid.

I mean, are these people so deficient in the self-esteem area that being the first on the block to own a new i phone is going to instantly dip them into a big bucket of cool?

I've seen some of these ass-clowns and believe me, dude who's first in line, the phone ain't gonna get you laid.

Idiots.

Even as I write this, I can hear a bunch of people in deep discussion about some reality show about white rappers on MTV.

Remember, 80%.

Be afraid.

My Birthday

Today.
It's my birthday.
As I prepare myself to enter my 42nd year, I find myself making the promises one usually reserves for the New Year.
Spend as much quality time with my family before the kids are grown and flown.
Keep my wife happy so she doesn't dump my fat ass.
Succeed professionally as a writer so I can break free of the mundane and inane 9-5.
Remain smoke-free.
Hopefully lose a couple pounds here and there.
Generally try and be happier.

That last one is tough. Because in a world that continually disappoints and dismays, it's difficult not let it all get to you.

But I'm gonna try harder.

I know that I can't fix the shitstorm in Iraq.
I can't stop Iran's nuclear program.
I can't change the minds of millions of Islamic Militants who would see us dead.
I can't make George W. Bush smart.

I can't stop American Idol or any other reality show from dumbing down America.
I can't stop video games or rap music from contributing to burgeoning culture of violence that sees kids gunned down daily in the streets of most our major cities.

I can't stop people from worshipping talentless idiots like Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears.
I can't make people listen to music of substance like Ryan Adams, Bruce Springsteen, Wilco and scores more over pre-packaged pop and American Idol cast-offs.
I can't stop Big Momma's House 2 or Saw 3 from being bigger hits than the Good German and the Prestige.
I can't stop American Idol or Wife Swap from being bigger hits than Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Scrubs, The Office and My Name is Earl.

I can't stop the world that is bleeding out its soul.

What I can do is make my little corner of the universe secure.
I'll do whatever it takes to ensure the continued security, health and happiness of my wife and children.
I'll keep trying to shed light on those things that have soul.
I'll keep a light burning in the window.

So Happy Birthday to me.

First. Blog. Ever.

Sunday. 24 June, 2007. 4:53 pm cst.

So this is blogging, huh?

Well, then.

I've kind of resisted this whole blogging thing simply because I figured there were too many people out there who were under the impression that there were a lot of other people out there who cared about what they had to say.

I thought it was all just a little audacious. I mean, come on. Who among us really thinks that what they have to say is so damn important?

But then something funny happened. For once, instead of ripping something without really trying it, I decided dip my toes in the water and see what all the fuss was about and I discovered that while yeah, there's a lot of people out there who just like to babble, babble, babble about the most mundane crap I've ever seen and while yes, there are people out there blogging that are poster children for Uninformed Opinions, there's actually some pretty interesting stuff out there as well as some some pretty intelligent brains attached to the fingers tapping the keyboards.

Which category will my posts fall into? Hard to say. I'd like to think I'm part of the latter, but who the hell knows.

Hell, odds are nobody will even read this so I'll just be regurgitating my ideas for my own amusement.

We'll see.